Hi everyone,
It has been a while since my last post since I am so busy now. Tak pernah satu class pun tak ada assignment lagi lagi untuk studio. Bosannya can I make everything done already? I'm tired.

Actually I sedih la Idk where to say this but I know no one really read my post so I am fine talking about it here. I rasa N macam tak interested nak OPT dekat sini :( Tak tahulah kenapa, instinct. For those who don't know, semua student yg gad dari US ada chance untuk buat OPT, macam kerja la after grad, for a year  (if you got BS) and rasanya I heard that it's only 6 months for BA or BFA like me. I rasa kadang kadang malas juga nak OPT tapi rasa membazir kalau tak grab the opportunity kan?

Btw back to my story, we talked about something else at first but then I came out with this opt thing and N ni macam tak interested pun. Maybe dia busy sebab dia ada due assignment esok tapi hmmm I takut dia memang tak interested nak opt. I will be here for another 2 years and half kot kalau N takda lama macam tu I tak tau la macam mana. The fact that he will be back in Malaysia also scares me a lot since the time is so different in NY and Malaysia. Dekat sini 12 malam dekat malaysia will be 12 tengah hari. Nanti kalau I sibuk excited nak cakap pasal one thing pukul 12 malam dia mesti akan busy ke apa ke sebab dekat sana is 12 tengah hari kan. At least kalau dia opt dekat sini for a year  takdalah I lonely sangat kot idk. Tapi nak opt pun tak senang, kena apply awal awal and a lot of things need to be taken care of e.g rumah, everyday spending. transportation and more. Susah kan?
But it's actually up to him whatever he chose later, but I just hope for the best but of course, I am still hoping that your rezeki is here and you can be here with me, at least in the US.

Hi Assalamualikum,
It's me again.... maybe people have been wondering where I am now sebab kadang kadang I dekat Chicago. kadang kadang Indiana kadang kadang macam dekat campus kan, the answer is.... campus. I'm back guys. Which is so sad. I started my fist week as a sophomore and it was quite intense. There was a day when I actually questioned why I am studying Interior Design but I managed to get over it so don't worry. So macam ni la rasanya orang yang questioned their major okay now I get it. Nini pun pernah cakap banyak kali dia tak tau kenapa dia ambil econs, sama la dengan Nabiela tapi dyorang nak habis dah so takpe lah. Ulfa je yang tinggal dekat sini for another 3 years. Btw, now I macam dah dapat the routine every week and I know when to start doing the work and when to stop to lessen the workload so harapnya this semester takkan ada masalah la.

I wanna try not to feel sad for the fact that I am here, alone in my school ever again and make myself busy with the assignment so that I will not even have a chance to think about it. I punya tahap sedih mengada ngada tu kadang kadang macam sampai menyusahkan orang je. I sampai suruh Amalin ikut balik NY la nini ikut la semua orang la I suruh, but at last I okay je after a week. I sedih la mula mula sampai tu sebab dah la rumah kosong, pastu I tak ada barang sangat except for the ones yang I bawak dari rumah Biha so hmmm memang lonely la. Tapi I rasa I should be thankful to my friends and my bb because they were there when I need them so Thank you and please keep doing that :) Oh ya, dekat sini I found a Malay girl, Malay malay tau I was so happy, I rasa macam nak jerit je every time jumpa tu because I am so happy that I know someone from Malaysia in this school. Tapi dia graduate student in ID but okay la still I ada kawan. So I am looking forward to do a lot of things with her hehe and I sangatlah excited.

Goodnight!!

Hi

Now I feel like writing because I am super excited hehe guess what?? Ni ni is coming here in Indy bestnya bestnya nanti dekat sini ada Aina, ada Biha, ada ni ni seronoknya. Macam ni la juga I rasa masa raya Chicago haritu tapi Biha tak ada la time tu.

So now it's 1246am and he will be here tomorrow at 930am tak sabarnyaaaaaa haha. We already booked a car for 2 hours to fetch him and it costs us only 17 dollar for those two hours. Murah la kan, Kalau naik uber pun it will be 20 plus one way so hmm baik I yang amik.

Later I will update more tak sabar la hehe. Okay la goodnight everyone!

Hi!

I am so excited for this sem to finish!!!!!!
Hehe penat la bosan asyik belajar benda yang sama je I rasa there were times yang rasa sangat la susah nak buat assignment ada yang senang sangat, tak balance kan? Tapi apa apa pun esok adalah my first and last exam lepastu ada final critique on Monday. Final critique selalunya tak ada apa pun critique macam biasa je and the good news about it issssss, I have already finished with the project! hehe. Ada la sikit kena touch up color dia but I can do it on the weekend rasanya since that is the only thing I need to do for school.

Tapi tapi tapiii, I kena kemas barang, kena kemas rumah sebab I kena move out on May 9. Actually let's say May 8 sebab that's my inspection date. So by 8 o clock May 8, I kena siap kemas sebab appoinment I pukul 8. Soo it's a lot. A lot... mana nak pack barang mana nak mop lantai nak cuci toilet cuci dapur OMG so many things already. Tapi I think I can start this weekend la I rasa sebab tak ada kerja sangat selain final 3D yang I dah siap tu.

Sebenarnya I tengah cari jalan untuk relax sikit sebab I have been studying since after lunch kan, macam nk muntah je ingat Monet la Manet la Kandinsky la Duchamp la Picasso la semua laaaa eeeeee penat. I DM nini through Twitter pastu dia hilang ntah mana ntah so I assume dia ada class je la kot. I selalu je lupa class dia bila hahaha last sem I macam ingat la.. macam.. tapi this sem macam tak tau langsung. So takpelah, I pun decide nak tulis blog.

Oh yes btw I promised to show you guys my birthday presents kan but I forgot. Hehe later when I kemas kemas tu I'll show you guys la. I love all the presents. Alllll! Thank you everyone. Most of them are actually unexpected la so Thank you sangat sangat at least I tak sedih sangat la tak dapat blow candle this year.

Okay so tu je la, I kena mandi dah petang and kena sambung study balik. I have an exam at 1 tomorrow and it's art history guys. Sama la macam sejarah tapi sejarah art sahaja but I need to write 3 essays kot esok. Yes 3..2 compare and contrast and 1 essay biasa so doakan la I dapat A. Harini I dah dapat grade untuk LCD and it's an A-... boleh laa. I target I dpt full mark la kot final art history ni sebab I lost few marks on other things already. Wish me luck okay!

I actually got the title from one of my birthday wishes and I think it sounds so sweet and cool. Haha adalah orangnya I can't tell you guys.

Hi

Today I am a bit emotional and that makes me wanna write since I don't have anyone to talk to pun. I don't know why I choose this weird topic to be written but I have been keepin this for quite a while and the best way to let it go is through this medium. I know some people will be so judgemental but I don't care anymore because I am going to say what I wanna say.

Usually a few times in a month I will have this uneasy or maybe a feeling that makes me feel so lonely where I could not do anything. Anything at all. I can't even watch a drama (my all time favorite thing to do) , I can't even look or think of my assignment (which I will usually really excited to start), or even have appetite to eat. Well... I don't know what is wrong but during those days, you (anyone I close to) will get my call so suddenly or maybe got my text saying that I want to talk to you. But what's worse is most of the time when that happens, no one could be with me. Everyone usually has their own thing to do on that day and so I will be left alone la.

Today, I feel that same thing and I could not call anyone sebab semua orang ada life sendiri bukan macam I yang takda life ni. I called Amalin a for a while but she cuts it off because she needs to settle up her laundry thing and I could not talk to Aisyah since we have already talked in the morning. I was fine then because she called when I was doing my 3D assignment but that was in the morning. Ntahla I don't even understand myself I don't know why. Also I am so close with Biha and I have called her too for 10 mins kot bcs I need to solat zohor before asar masuk waktu. Shamira pula tengah break easter and she is in London instead of Sheffield so I cannot disturb her as much la. I called Aida, Zarifah but no answer. Then I tried to have a conversation with my all time savior la but he also could not talk to me. I'm sad sumpah but I need to get away with this feeling so I said I am fine. That is how I usually settle things up. I will say I'm doing good although I am not. Mesti korang cakap "typical perempuan la dia ni" but you don't understand. I actually do that to lure myself so that I will follow what I say; for this case, so that I will be fine. Also, I do that to understand people. Selalunya la I cakap je okay tapi tak pun but eventually, at the end of the day I actually understand the people la because I will try to find the rationale. I am pretty much so understanding la I could say but you guys kena la juga try faham why I always need korang semua. These are the reasons why I actually need you people in my life:

1) I need to talk to people because I need people to understand me
2) Because I have a lot to say about everything
3) Because I cannot keep everything I want to say in ma heart and mind since I will have new things to say every minute and it will make myself overwhelmed if I keep them by myself.
4) I don't have a mat salleh bestfriend because I only have hi hi bye bye punya kawan which are mostly my classmates. Also most of them are international students sebab international lagi kaya dari mat salleh. Pastu takkan tiba tiba aku nak borak pasal thinker studios punya video pulak kat dyorang kan ewww no...
5) I need to speak malay guys understand me plz. I even listen to less english songs here in the us but in Malaysia they are my favorite. I can't even listen to malay songs in Malaysia... it's weird but I feel irritated la. Dekat sini I dengar melayu sangat sangat..

So itulah.. You know now kan.. Sometimes it could be because I miss you guys. I always miss ni a lot these days I know I am weird but what can I do. Also I miss Shamira everytime I have a conversation with the guy from UK too bcs she is there. Kadang kadang I miss Iman Aida Aina Nisa semua la tapi semua busy.

Tu jela untuk post harini. Thank you for reading my honest thoughts. I hope I can understand people better and I hopee.. people can understand me too. Be in my shoes and you will know how it feels like to be me.

Hello people!